#me 🤝 nick : stupidity

[secrettastemakerland]

“Your flop era is low key serving”

Nick: *panicking in millennial* what the fuck does that even mean??

HELP 😭😭😭

HE WOULD BE LIKE "Thank you???? I think????"

Nick: *turns to Judy* "Carrots, what the fuck did he say to me"

Judy: "He said that you're ate, slay, left no crumbs, Slick"

[quietwingsinthesky]

See the old money vs new money motif of gatsby obviously doesn’t translate to Sam/Lucifer, but you know what does work as a parallel? spn’s idea of humanity. humanity as something inherent to one group, humans, but that can be Lost under certain circumstances. (Turn into a monster? Sorry, you don’t really count anymore, even if you don’t want to hurt anyone. Drink some demon blood? You’re walking a fine line, buddy.) And angels are obviously Not Human and Lucifer is the Most Not Human of them all.

And what spn is using humanity for is shorthand for who deserves to be saved, really. Who has inherent worth and doesn’t end up on the wrong end of a rifle. Sam nearly loses that because of his shenanigans in s4, and it doesn’t matter that we, the audience, can tell that this worldview is messed up, that Sam would still deserve to be treated with dignity and not dragged out back and shot no matter how far he went because we know he was being manipulated and pushed to the edge and that his intentions were good. Doesn’t matter. Because Sam’s stuck in that mindset as deep as anyone else. If he loses his humanity, that’s it. No going back. And in s5, he’s clinging on with his fingernails.

And then obviously, here comes Lucifer. Lucifer borrowing the face of Sam’s dead girlfriend to get intimacy he hasn’t earned yet. Lucifer who wants to give Sam everything. Lucifer who understands how Sam has been hurt and what he’s been through and wants Sam to know that he understands. He’s been hurt, too. But, especially after Ruby, Lucifer is not a character Sam can allow himself to sympathize with for even a moment. Lucifer can wear a human face and tell Sam that they’re meant to be with a human voice but he’s Not. he can’t be. he never will be.

And obviously, Lucifer doesn’t want to be human, but that’s the shorthand. Lucifer wants what it promises. He wants to be the one saved/the one doing the saving. He wants to be proven right about everything he’s done. He wants Sam beside him of his own volition.

But he doesn’t really understand any of it. He’s grasping at straws, making overtures that he knows will appeal to Sam without really understanding why. Why does Sam want his family alive? Because if they’d never died in the first place, none of this would be happening. Why does Sam want revenge on the demons who fucked up his whole life? Because he was powerless to stop them when they were doing it. Why does Sam want someone who will understand what he’s been through? He doesn’t want someone, he wants it to be someone human, someone who can look at his experiences and say, you are still worth something. Lucifer can say that as much as he wants, and he will not count!!!

They’re speaking two different languages, and there’s no way for either of them to bridge the gap. Lucifer doesn’t have the experience he would need to actually understand Sam in a way that isn’t purely through the lens of his own life. Sam just flat out doesn’t want to understand Lucifer, he’s been burned and the only time he’ll ever get close is so that he can ultimately turn Lucifer down.

So, new money vs old money. Monstrousness vs humanity. You are either born with it or you aren’t, (and always you could lose it at any time) and any attempt to gain it for yourself will only end in you getting rejected.

[sturncrazy]

High School Reunion🔥

Chris Sturniolo x y/n (fem)

warnings: SMUT!! nsfw 18+ (risky location, almost caught, unprotected, language)

authors note: time jump for this one (it takes place 2 years from now but roll w me here ok 🤝) also this one ended up a lil sweeter than i thought it would but hey it’s kinda cutesy

summary: you attend your 5 year high school reunion and end up having an unexpected run in with your old crush Chris Sturniolo 👀

word count: 2,618 w

—————————————————————————

You fussed with your name tag. it felt so stupid, it had only been 5 years since you’d all been classmates. could everyone have forgotten each other that quickly? the thought made you nauseous, because deep down you knew you’d be one of the people forgotten the fastest. you were quiet in high school and never partied. not to mention the fact that puberty decided to wait until college, at least that’s when boys decided to notice you. you adjusted your dress, took a breath, and mustered up the courage to walk into the decked out gymnasium.

The next few hours consisted of semi-awkward life updates, but it was painless. the music was loud and people had enough drinks that everyone was in a friendly festive mood. the main focus of attention was on Sturniolo triplets, who’d actually bothered to show up. Their rise to fame was the schools main bragging point and people were all whispers. but it made the night easy for someone like you. you decided to grab drink and headed for the makeshift bar area, when you slammed into someone.

“Oh i’m sorry” you said before looking up

“No you’re all good m’bad—“ your eyes locked with a pair of massive blue ones.

“hey” said Chris Sturniolo, smiling down at you. Chris was the only one of the triplets you’d ever had a class with. You took biology together and were lab partners once, although you did all the work. At the time you’d had a major crush on him, but so did every other girl in your school. even years later though, your heart still leaped into your throat at the sight of him.

“hi” you said back weakly. his smile grew slightly.

“it’s good to see you it—“

“CHRISTOPHER OWEN STURNIOLO! MY BOY” a voice shouted over you, cutting you off. a big beefy hand grasped Chris’s shoulder, undoubtedly one of his old lacrosse buddies, pulling his attention away from you. you instinctively hurried away.

the evening began to get boring, so you decided to explore your old haunts. you were about 5 minutes into your journey when you heard footsteps jogging behind you.

“hey wait up, y/n” you turned over your shoulder to see Chris coming up to meet you.

“you remember my name?” you blurted in shock

“course i do, y/n don’t be silly.” he said casually. “whatcha up to?”

“oh nothing really, just reliving”

“sounds fun” you continued to stroll on and he followed

“so why’d you leave the group?”

“guess i’d had enough of ‘em…and i wanted to actually say hi to you”

“oh yeah? how’d you know where to find me?” you tried to fight off a smile

“your old locker was over there�� he said motioning “figured you might visit it”

“you remember where my locker was?” you said in disbelief

“good memory i guess” your heart jumped. had he noticed you back then too?

“plus nicks was a few over” he continued, immediately squashing the feeling. the two of you strode side by side in a comfortable silence down the empty halls before chris came to a halt. you paused to see what stopped him and he grinned at you pointing.

“‘member that room?” he asked , gesturing towards the old biology classroom

“yeah” you chuckled out “didn’t think you did though.” he threw a hand over his heart and dropped his jaw in fake insult

“hey, we spent quality time playing with frog guts in there”

“what a gross way to put it” you wrinkled your nose at him

“c’mon, betcha it’s unlocked” he said mischievously, reaching for the handle. sure enough the door swung open and chris crept into the dark classroom, holding it open for you. You were hit with the smell of pencil shavings and old memories as you heard the door click shut behind you.

“like we never left, huh?” chris said softly

“Can’t say I wish we hadn’t”

“you don’t ever miss it?”

“what, biology? no not exactly…why? do YOU?” you raised your eyebrows dramatically. he laughed

“well no not biology. No i dunno just life was simple then, you know?”

“yeah maybe for you” your words came out bitchier than you meant and chris looked almost hurt.

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh no nothing sorry I just— no high school just wasn’t easy for me like it was for you, you know? i wasn’t popular or anything. i mean i’m shocked you even remember me”

“you think so little of me?” he said faking hurt again, what a little drama queen. you laughed in spite of yourself, shaking your head.

“hey, believe me i’m honored to have made an impression on THE chris sturniolo.” you looked down at your feet muttering more to yourself “16 year old me would’ve been psyched”

chris smiled at you sweetly, taking you in with those big blue eyes.

“you made more than an impression on me” he said, sincerely. you stared at him, puzzled which must’ve been obvious because he snorted and continued

“oh cmon, y/n that’s real sweet of you, but it’s okay i know i wasn’t exactly subtle about my crush” your jaw dropped slightly. HIS crush? what was he talking about?

“really? you REALLY had no idea?” you shook your head violently. his faces flushed ever so slightly, the first time you’d seen him not look completely confident.

“oh well then that’s embarrassing that i just admitted that” he laughed, awkwardly. you were frozen in place trying to process. “well, i did”

“why didn’t you say anything”

“scared i wouldn’t stand a chance?”

“with ME? are you kidding?”

“okay i’m sensing a pattern here, y/n. are you unaware of how incredibly hot you are?”

“i sure wasn’t back then” you snickered, hoisting yourself up onto a table.

“i thought so” you paused again staring at his ernest expression

“god i would’ve killed to know that back then i mean i was obsessed with you”

“wait a minute you were?” you nodded vigorously. he crossed the room and leaned next to you against the table you were perched on.

“well no shit” you stayed in silence for a moment before an uncontrollable giggle began to bubbled out of you.

“what?”

“you said i was hot” you snorted at the floor. you felt his eyes on you.

“i said you are hot” you stomach jolted. you turned to look at him. he was so close you could see the delicate freckles across the bridge of his nose. the tension was thick enough to choke on.

“chris sturniolo did you bring me into the biology lab to try to seduce me” you teased.

“why? is it working?” he leaned in closer to you. your noses bumped playfully, enjoying the slight torture of fighting off locking lips.

“mmm maybe”

“maybeee” chris mocked. you took an inhale to calm yourself before closing the rest of the space between you and pressing your lips against his. he froze, apparently caught off guard momentarily, before eagerly kissing you back. your mouths molded perfectly, finding a rhythm together. the kiss rapidly became hot and passionate, as your lips fought for dominance. Chris brought his hands to your waist, grasping you tightly. you parted your legs for him to come closer and wrapped a hand through his hair. he groaned into your mouth as you pulled at his locks, making you suddenly aware of a growing heat between your legs. he ran his hands up your thighs and pushed your dress around your waist making you sigh. he glanced down at your exposed lacey thong and smirked

“do you always wear stuff this sexy?”

“oh shut up chris” you said, slapping his chest playfully. he pressed his forehead to yours

“make me” he rasped out, lighting your lips with hot air. you wrapped one hand around his tie and yanked him back to you, harshly. he stumbled slightly, letting out a rocky breath into your mouth. you hooked your legs behind him, locking him into you. he took your motion as a signal to press himself fully against you. you dragged your hands down his torso, eliciting another groan as his grip traveled to your ass, squeezing at your flesh tightly. you whined and felt him smile against your lips in satisfaction at the sound you made for him.

“god you’re so fucking sexy” he growled out, sending tingles down your skin. your body reacted before your brain did, wanting more. you raised your hips and pushed up against his. he pulled away and smirked at you, raising his eyebrows

“easy there, tiger. this is school property”

“so?” you taunted. Chris’s pupils dilated. he licked his lips and dove back into you, hungrily. he dug his hands into your thighs and yanked you against him as close as he could, your torsos and groins completely flush. a moan tumbled out of your lips and you reached for the buttons of his shirt. he grabbed your wrists, stopping you.

“uh-uh, sweetheart. if we’re gonna do this we have to be careful” he chuckled

“mmm but chrisss i want you” you whined, kissing him again

“oh yeah? how much?” he whispered, leaning in to kiss your neck, sloppily. you enveloped your hand around one of his began to move it down between your bodies. chris pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes tracking your joined hands as you brought his fingertips to your thinly clothed heat. you whimpered at the contact.

“fuck” chris breathed out, his eyes meeting yours, not moving his head. you removed your hand from his and he began to drag his fingers up and down the soaking fabric.

“jesus, you’re so wet” he exhaled, observing you in a trance. you pushed your hips closer to him, trying to intensify his painfully delicate touch. he locked eyes with you again, as he hooked one finger around your thong and pushed it to the side before returning his focus to your now entirely exposed dripping folds.

“shit—stop teasing me, chris” you hissed.

“whatever you say, ma” he grunted as he began to push his index and pointer finger into your throbbing entrance. you moaned loudly, tossing your head back.

“shhhhhh” he sounded, placing his free thumb to your lips and bringing your head up to look at him again. you let out a stifled whine as he began to pump his digits in and out of your core at a mesmerizing pace. you felt your walls tighten as he curved his fingers exactly how you needed them. you gasped, fighting the urge to cry out.

“you look so pretty with my fingers in you like this”

“mmmm—chris” you moaned

“can only imagine how pretty you’d look with my dick inside you, baby” he groaned out. your legs stuttered at his words, begging for him.

“oh—god chris—please” you huffed out

“please what?” he said, continuing to fuck you with his fingers.

“fuck me chris please” you almost begged. his breathing shook at your request and he pulled his fingers back out of you, glancing over his shoulder towards the classroom door.

“think you can be a good girl for me and be quiet if i do?” you nodded your head vigorously

“promise?” he said, reaching to undo his belt. you felt your mouth grow dry.

“i promise, chris”

he kissed you while unzipping his pants.

“good. can’t promise i won’t make you wanna scream though” he said with a smirk against your lips as he lowered his pants just enough to free his hard length. you glanced down and felt your jaw drop and your mouth salivate at the sight of him. he was huge. fear and desire coursed through you, his pink tip glistening with precum. he pumped himself with his hand for a moment, before pushing your legs further apart and lining himself up with your entrance. he pushed his tip into you slowly, hissing. you began to bite your lip fighting the urge to scream by the time he was only half way into you, the stretch and deepness of him already overwhelming. he sunk the rest of the way inside your core, his head collapsing into your shoulder and neck as he bottomed out, groaning.

“fu—fuck—such a tight little pussy, ma” he stuttered, pulling back out of you.

“hhh—so big—chris-“ you gasped into his ear, clawing at the fabric of his shirt

“mmm yeah? you like my big cock, huh?” he growled

“oh god—yes—faster—“

“think you can handle it?” he taunted, still going slow enough to drive you crazy

“mmmhmmm please” you whined. you buried a scream into his taut shoulder as he slammed all the way into your pussy.

“shit—you feel so fucking good y/n” he rasped out, begging to pound into you relentlessly. the room echoed with the squeaks of the table and your stifled moans combine with chris’s heavy breaths as he rammed his long thick member inside you. every inch of him hitting your walls and g spot in the most perfect way imaginable. chris sucked at your neck harshly, undoubtedly leaving marks, never letting up on his steady thrusts. He brought one hand down from his steadying grip on your hips to your folds and began to draw circles against your clit, sending your pleasure to new highs. the sensation was too much and you let out a pornographically loud moan. Chris slapped a hand over your mouth and halted, still deep inside you. you became aware of a sound from out in the hallway and froze. had someone heard the two of you? Chris looked at you wide eyed and raised a finger to his lips, maintaining the other hands cover over your mouth. footsteps approached and you tensed, preparing to be caught, but the sound continued on down the hall. you exhaled against chris’s hand in relief and his shoulders relaxed as he gave you a smile.

“gotta keep that pretty mouth shut, baby” he whispered to you, starting his thrusts again

“can’t have anyone else knowing how perfect you look with my cock stuffed in you” he growled, restarting his rubs against your bundle of nerves. within moments you felt the overwhelming pressure in your stomach forming.

“fuck chris—i’m close—“

“you gonna cum for me, gorgeous?”

“yes-fuck—right there-oh god” your vision began to blur and electricity sparked through your body as you began to unravel

“you look so sexy cumming all over my dick” chris exhaled in encouragement as your walls began to flex uncontrollably around him. the added sensation made his jaw go slack and his eyes roll into the back of his head

“ohhh-oh fuck” he moaned out. his thrusts becoming unsteady and desperate, chasing his release. you moaned lightly, still coming down from your high

“shit—oh fuck, baby- i’m gonna cum hhh”

he slammed into you violently, his brow furrowed.

“OH FUCK” he wailed, pulling out just in time to shoot his hot white load of his release on your thigh. he collapsed his forehead against yours, the two of you desperately trying to regain your breath. he eventually looked up at you and smiled, blushing.

“that was amazing” Chris exhaled, giving you one more kiss before reaching behind to grab a nearby tissue. you took it and cleaned yourself up, then pushed yourself off the table and resituated your dress. Chris inhaled sharply, almost nervously while redoing his belt

“hey how long are you around boston for?”

“oh dunno, bout a week i guess?” you answered, fixing a heel

“well what would you say to dinner?”

“dinner?” you questioned, dumbfounded

“yeah…dinner…like a date?” his voice raised as he scratched the back of his head, scanning your face.

“I’d love that” you smiled

—————————————————————————

GUYS AH IM SUCH A CHRIS GIRL I NEED HIM SO BAD. also why was this giving sorta 2000s rom com vibes (minus the sex obvi)

OK ENJOY!!

kisses💋

[stevesbanana]

Steve Head-cannons~

Listen we all need some spiritual healing, and what better way to heal than to read about our adorable man-child🩵

PSA: A couple 18+ head-cannons will be at the end ;)

~~~

Say what you want but this man is the epitome of the you fell first but he fell harder trope.

Love language is physical touch. Tell me I’m wrong, I’ll wait.

Consent, consent, consent.

His neck kisses have spiritual healing ❤���‍🩹

Will act heroic to kill a bug for you but screams with you when they start running.

Steve pinching your ass and saying “don’t look at me like that” when you turn around.

Steve always being the driver.

Buys you a cake after taking your first shit at his place

Definitely calls you honey, fight me.

Need your back cracked? He can do it, he’ll tell you to cross your arms, take a deep breath and lift you.

Walk him like a dog? Oh you do.

He for sure asks for a kids menu with crayons at the restaurant to play tic tac toe with you.

He’s the type of guy to say: “whoopsie daisy” when dropping something, for dustin to turn and say: “I’m sorry what?”

*Grabs you by your waist and sits you in his lap*

He definitely hit his ankles with his scooter an ungodly amount of times and never learned.

Back to epitomes- Steve🤝🏻sleeper build

Oh he definitely grabs your neck to kiss you.

Will shut you up with a kiss.

Tells Robin his back hurts at work from giving you a piggyback ride the night before, only to do it again if you ask.

Constantly analyzing you and knows if you’re not okay. (It’s sad to say he probably does it to protect himself cause he’s definitely scared you’ll eventually leave him)

Other head-cannons

~~~

Walking through your home door and Billy smacking your ass out of nowhere saying: “I’ve been holding out alll evening”

Steve and Billy are best friends okay, they relate to each other cause they both had asshole phases in high school.

Eddie calling you ‘noodle head’ if you have curly or wavy hair

Billy asking what you want at McDonald’s only to turn around and order 3 Big Macs

Steve buying a speak and spell, and Billy calls it stupid. Only to turn around and buy one for himself.

Billy picking you up by your ankles and shaking you to get you out of your depressive state.

You and Billy going back and forth like Jess and Nick’s ‘weird’ contest on New Girl.

Billy and Steve’s dynamic is literally Schmidt and Nick on New Girl

Billy is the type of guy to have a Budweiser shirt, but turn around and say “I like Heineken better”

Billy randomly barking at men that look at you and you turn to see his mouth foaming.

Billy being a good cook.

Eddie not being able to cook for shit. Scratch that, he couldn’t even cook shit. He’s linguini from ratatouille when he was throwing a bunch of shit in the soup.

18+ Head-cannons (MINORS DNI! BEGONE!!)

3

2

1

I warned you

~~~

You can not sit there and tell me he’s not a missionary guy. He is, he also like you on top.

Consent King Steve

If Stranger Things took place in modern times, he’d for sure be the guy that pulls his phone out to play Clash of Clans after rearranging your insides.

You’ve definitely tango’d in the BMW

Doesn’t strike me as the type to tie you up, wants to feel your hands on him 😏

Girthy king 👑

We all know he’d moan if you pulled his hair handle.

Hates being teased but lOvEs teasing you #hypocrite

The type of guy to finish and then start round two when he sees you put his shirt on.

We all know how he feels about boobs.

Definitely into thigh riding. It’s over for you once you say you like his thighs. (He’d definitely look at you and pat his lap 😩🙈)

We love a whimpering man (don’t look at me like that you know he does)

The type of man to just smirk if you suggest it’s small.

Extra: Billy’s the type of guy to fill you up and then go to McDonald’s for 40 nuggets- just for him.

Extra: Eddie definitely comes home, lays on your chest, and talks to your boobs his girls.

[lostusagis]

@jiraipink asked:

🤝 Namida holding Kamui's and Kagura's fists to stop them in the nick of time of them nearly punching the other PFFFFFTTTTT- She's like >:I

Send “🤝” to hold my muses hand

Kagura was in a bad mood. The day before, she had been training with Kamui. That wasn't what upset her though, it was the fact that she made absolutely no progress. However, Kamui didn't ridicule her for it, whenever they trained he was really..... encouraging. The only thing was that during anything that required sparring, he was really brutal. She was never able to keep up with him either, it frustrated Kagura so much. Even more so that she STILL hasn't properly mastered the qigong technique, yet he basically mastered it in such a short time! This pissed her off so much. Meanwhile, she was supposed to be enjoying the time they were spending with Namida.

It was such a nice day since summer was ending. A cool breeze while they hung out in the park, meanwhile she was bitterly scowling.

''You know, if you scowl anymore like that. . . it's going to make you get even uglier Kagura.'' Kagura hearing Kamui beside her made the young Yato click her tongue.

''Get your stupid face away from me. You really piss me off.'' Her sour mood showed itself right then and there. Kamui did back off, but he looked at her confused.

''Are you going through that thing women usually go through? What was it. . . uh. . . menopau-''

''Drop dead.'' She immediately cut him off, now glaring at her brother. ''You're such an insensitive asshole, only older women go through that. Piss off.''

Despite him smiling, a vein popped out on his temple showing he was getting pissed off with her attitude. ''You know... I'm trying to be nice Kagura.''

''Ooooh, okay. Calling me ugly is being soooo nice. I'm sorry I took your kindness for granted even though you're a stupid, balding bastard.'' Her tone was mocking, purposely being spiteful despite her annoyance deriving from her own insecurities. It only served to make the both of them really upset, so much so that they were about to initiate a fight but Namida had stopped them before they could punch each other.

Kagura would look up at Namida then immediately look away before snatching her hand away. She'd hide her face with her umbrella, as if she'd just been scolded by a parent.

''. . . . . Sorry Namida.'' Kamui would frown, smile finally faltering. ''I don't really know what's up with her.'' He had went ahead and held Namida's hand, having unclenched his fist. Then when Kamui took a few seconds to think about the situation, it clicked into his head.

''Oh. Are you upset still because of yesterday? I told you everyone has off days you know. . . I have a lot of those myself. Although, maybe not as much as you. . .'' Kamui couldn't help teasing Kagura a bit,

''I do think you'll end up getting really strong, but acting out like that isn't really helping anybody. We can always try later again today if you want.''

He'd glance over at Namida, then got embarrassed and looked away.

''. . . Don't. . . say anything, got it Namida?''

He tends to get like that whenever it showed how much he really cares about Kagura. It always annoyed him when Abuto teased him about it, what a pain.

''She just. . . tends to get upset whenever training goes badly for her. '' Kamui just shrugs, hoping Kagura's mood would at least improve so the time they were spending with Namida wouldn't end on a bad note.

''But heeey, if she stays all grumpy like this we can just ditch her and hang out alone together. How does that sound?'' His ahoge did a happy little bounce when suggesting the idea, as he'd smile. It resulted in getting punched in the side. ''Ow. . . .''

''If you do that, you'll regret it baldy.''

She sighs out, before looking at Namida again. ''I'm sorry too. . . . and Kamui. . . .'' There was a struggle for her to get the words out, basically scowling while struggling the whole time. Given that it was KAMUI, made it that much difficult because she knew he was going to be so smug about it once she actually said it.

Kamui just watches her in amusement, ''Wow, Namida can't believe she's actually going to apologize to me right now. She rarely ever does.'' He'd express his shock when whispering into her ear before looking back at Kagura.

''I'm s...s...s...sorry.....'' It came out in a mumble.

''Huh? I didn't hear you.'' Yes, he did. His little cat-like smirk proved that. ''Say it again.'' Except, instead of another apology, he got punched in the face. Then, Kagura immediately went to hug Namida.

''Oh, I get punched. But she gets a hug.'' The punch didn't particularly bother him, he was just confused.

''She has to deal with you all the time, if anyone needs a hug here it's probably Namida.'' Actually, she just wanted to hug Namida. No particularly reason for it. And to also piss off her brother a little, which worked. She could feel the intensity of his gaze on her practically, maybe sulking because she was hugging his girlfriend.

What a cringe loser.

[peripumpernickel]

Rachel 🤝 Jason

I really like pitting these two against each other and comparing them like specimens in a glass jar because I remember someone said on here that a lot of Rachel’s character is built on her being... well, herself, Rachel King! In other words, a goddamn queen! Clarice even calls her ‘’your majesty” albeit sarcastically. She's strict, she's brave, she's good at her fucking job and that’s an undeniable fact. She keeps things to herself but gets shit done. Everyone knows who she is. Rachel who said “Do you think it bothers me what people call me (queen bitch)? I wear that shit like a badge of fucking honour!”

Bear with me cuz this is a glorified Jason appreciation post. But they also pointed out that Jason’s character, while overshadowed a lot by his ridiculous patriotism and funny accent, he is almost if not just as intelligent and pragmatic as Rachel is. I’m pretty sure he’s the only one in game that acknowledges that Rachel is highly skilled aside from Eric, her husband, so go figure. Merwin’s sexist, Joey died too early, Nick was pretty stupid about being into her, and that was it

And someone mentioned this once in another Tumblr post abt his character analysis (but I cannot for the life of me find it), Jason was at rock bottom and worked incredibly hard to get to his position as a first lieutenant (even with fuzzy intentions), which iirc, he got promoted quicker than most people would have

For such a high rank, he undoubtedly worked his ass off. During the cutscene at the end of the game with the agents in hazmat suits, they remark how Jason was the “best of the best” as a squad leader. I’ve seen lots of people who wonder just how it took Jason to get promoted so fast, w/ such an apparently great reputation? Well.. the answer is that he’s basically a copy of Rachel lol and I mean that in the most endearing way possible

Both of them are emotionally distant, practical, good in a pinch, among other things that just liken them to each other a lot. Ok... maybe they wouldn’t be the BEST of friends... I don’t know how good their friendship would be seeing as they both take their jobs deathly seriously, but hey, you always get on well with someone who’s just like you, right???

augh I don’t know how many times I've replayed hoa and I STILL have things to say about it

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 316

Nihilism/Damaged Goods

Huzzah!! It only took uninstalling, reinstalling, and then restarting Netflix and then my whole tv to get picture back on but I did it!! So an spn double header

“Nihilism”

Plot Description: as Sam and Castiel try to free Dean from Michael’s control, it falls on Jack to protect the bunker from a monster horde outside

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died. I’m guessing that this is happening in Dean’s mind as either a way to pacify him or convince him to be Michael’s vessel forever

Omg it took a second watch of the first five minutes to realize that Rocky’s Bar (the bar this Dean owns) is in the Rocky and Bullwinkle font…like moose and squirrel, like Crowley used to call them 😭 I miss Crowley

That was a really good distraction to get the angel cuffs on Michael

The reapers have SHIFTS to babysit the Winchesters now?? Amazing

Then how did they get back to the bunker?? If violet didn’t take them there

Ugh… the way Dean is living the same rainy day over and over in his mind. Please wake up from this groundhogs day

Jack’s faith in Dean is 🥺

MICHAEL. STOP LYING TO JACK.

Damn. Michael is even more blood thirsty than Lucifer

Sam’s so desperate for whatever cab save Dean

I’m not going to make comments about why Dean’s mind seems empty

It’s really just super dark because of the trauma

Oh good. Dean’s…….oh no. Michael’s adjusting Dean’s memory to fit what Sam and Cas are saying , but not faster than Sam can make him remember

TWO JENSENS??

Not only is Michael cruel, he’s annoying. He’s stalling til his monster army gets to the bunker

Oh damn!! Since they can’t actually kick Michael out, they shoved him in the cooler of the fake bar in Dean’s mind and now Dean is The Cage. Ngl. It was kinda hot to hear him say that for some reason

Me to Megumi 🤝 Cas to Jack: I’m not mad at you, I’m just trying to keep you safe, and you are making it SO. DIFFICULT.

Awwww it WAS Billie who got them out of the place Michael was at the beginning

Well, at least now I know that whatever fate is in Billie’s books can be changed because I know for a fact Dean doesn’t die the way her books tell it. It’s way, way stupider

Omg they’re really Avengers Infinity War/Endgame-ing this. All of the books say Dean dies with Michael escaping his mind and burning down the world….except one. The one where he dies on a rusty nail for some reason

That said, I can’t believe Billie let him read AND KEEP THE ONE BOOK WHERE IT DOESNT HAPPEN?!

“Damaged Goods”

Plot Description: Dean decides to spend some time with his mother—until Nick shows up looking for a secret Mary stashed away for safekeeping

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: if Nick wanted to kill me, he just would

How does this demon not recognize Lucifer’s vessel

“We don’t hug. I mean, we do, but only if it’s the end of the world or something” truer words never spoken, Sammy

I’m so glad Dean has Donna to take him to go get the best burger

😭😭😭 I’m so proud of Dean for making his needs known and seeing that they are met, even if he’s not forthcoming about WHY he needs them

I MUST know what’s in the Winchester Surprise

When did they get Garth out of the trunk?

Yeah, I ALWAYS think “I should do some welding” when the archangel banging around in my brain starts making my vision go wonky

Nick, you can’t roll up to a small town in a creeper van asking for the friend of the sheriff…

Nick better not actually hurt Donna

I hate that they’re probably right to worry about Dean, but I also don’t like that they’re going behind Dean’s back like this, ESPECIALLY Sam, who seems to be on his way to the cabin

Dean’s read the one way he won’t die with Michael taking over. I don’t know how the whole story goes or if they’re able to divert that to something else but…..let him have some time to process

Ok, we’re getting closer to whatever Dean’s really up to

So Nick is angry because Mary trapped the demon (instead of killing) who killed Nick’s family. I can’t believe he just asked her if she still had the box like she wasn’t dead for three decades

Oh…but she knows where the box is

I really hate Nick putting these women in danger.

The way the writers can’t come up with another way of describing an archangel possessing one of the boys other than “wearing me to the prom” it’s been like ten years, and they’re still going with that

Dean, you’re not talking about Nick when you mention people you think are past saving…or you’re not JUST talking about Nick

Nick, you dumb piece of shit, don’t you dare hurt Mary

Boys!! And Donna!! Thank god you showed up

You know it’s bad if Sam doesn’t think you’re worth saving

What was — oh. Oh no. Dean. Dean, you HAVE to realize Sam is not going to let you do this. He built some kind of box nothing can escape and is planning to pay some hush money for someone to drop said box (WITH HIM INSIDE) into the Pacific Ocean, so it’s just him and Michael duking it out in his brain FOREVER. Sam KNOWS what it’s like to be stuck with an arch angel or two. There is no way this happens

I can’t believe you were ever part of Team Free Will, the way you’re talking, Dean. I can’t believe you’re asking Sam to help you with this insane plan and I CANNOT BELIEVE HE AGREED

[stormyoceans]

I'm glad you mentioned a few points that I didn't write (sleeping together, do you think I'm sexy) Nick's T-shirt was on Day in lt trailer. I'm glad you're sharing the brain rot with me. I'm sure I will continue to do this, because next week we will have a scene in the car (which Sea liked so much). and you know, yesterday, while watching the ep in the darkroom, it seemed to me that Jimmy and Sea were captured in the photo. I had to zoom in to see that Book and Khaotung were in the photo. I'm crazy, I know👋😓

THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME ABOUT NICK'S SHIRT ANON I CAN'T BELIEVE MY STUPID ASS WAS SO FOCUSED ON VICE VERSA THAT FOR A MOMENT I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT LAST TWILIGHT ;;;;;;;;;

i can't really take a decent screenshot because nick's shirt quickly disappears and then everything looks red and black in the darkroom but

YEP. SAME SHIRT. THE SHARED WARDROBE IS STILL GOING STRONG

i really hope sea is gonna leave a comment about the car scene either on IG or twitter next week IMMA NEED TO KNOW WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT IT

ALSO THAT'S OKAY ANON WE CAN BE CRAZY TOGETHER 🤝🫂

[awigglycultist]

I'm lying in bed and cuddling my Wiggly and it's time to finally rewatch Honey Queen now that's its on youtube!

God I love this theme song

Jae's and Bryce's voices!!!! They're so good!

"you fill my heeaarttt wiiithhhhh joy."

Dan's "winning smile" is mentioned in both Witch in the Web and here, that may or may not be important

"no one wants to go to your stupid cherry festival."

The four blonde boys!! Ugh I love river and I hope everyone else loves him just as much

We know River is 6 but I wonder how old the other boys are

"how big are you looking to go? Reduction? Ah that's a shame"

GOD Roman is SUCH a bitch. Smiling and doing that little song after Linda says she doesn't like that.

God I remember seeing that Jon was Roman and just being such suprise and awe like omg I immediately knew this would be such a fun character and Jon would be great

"your my honey queen :)"

"something your good at?" "I'm a mother." ahh parallels to "all you gotta do is just do what you do best" "shop" "be a mother"

Hnnngg Zoey

Linda just saying she won't allow Zoey to compete dndjehdh

"now I know there's a judge I can seduce that you can't"

"awwww you gonna cry boomer?"

"I got stick for you right here ;)"

"SHE CALLED ME A BOOMER GERALD!"

God I love them. Gerald is just. So head over heels in love with Linda. And loves her being evil and cheating. They're so great

WOOO THE SEA CAPTAIN

I love Angela dndjdjd

Poor Liz :( she moved ten years ago!!

ONCE A CHEMIST ALWAYS A CHEMIST

God wtf is up with Hatchetfield's hatred for Clivesdale. Like it is no longer a fun town rivalry they are kicking ppl out bc they're from Clivesdale. What the fuck is up.

Linda doing the job transfer of one of the constants and then saying "I'd say go to hell but your already moving there" I've said in the past I'd like to imagine that she's referring to Hell, Michigan. But I just realized Linda says "she's going to love Dubuque" so no Amber is definitely not moving to Hell. Come on Langs there was prime moment for a reference to Michigan there!

Ugh Zoey's such a bitch for outing Zach jeez

Always I want more of Zach and I want to see Josh asap they deserve better and I love them

Also if we ever see Josh he should played Joey, you know why

SAM SWEETLY

They very much did NOT get out Hatchetfield actually Zoey

Emma 🤝 Zoey

Baristas that hate hatchetfield and want to get out of it more than anything but end up dying in it

MALONE! Fucking werido

"you dirty girl"

Once again I need to see Malone and Gary solving crime together also again I believe Gary wasn't in this episode

"Mommy, why did you pay that stinky man?"

"damn straight!"

PROFESSOR HENRY HIDGENS!!!! AHHH MY BELOVED!!! AND NICK DOES A GREAT JOB!

If I'm correct Ted and Zoey are the only ones to have called Hidgens "Hidge"

I forgot that Mimaw was the first woman to swim the Nantucket Chanel

"bye bitch."

Did Sam kinda kill Mimaw bc he very purposefully switched the prescriptions and did it wanting her to die? Yeah. Should the nurses have paid more attention and were definitely being neglectful not checking the doses? Also yeah, chestnut estates needs to hire better ppl

It's okay Mimaw deserved to die she's homophobic

"whaaat. Thee. Fuuckkk?"

Oh god I forgot how terrible Linda was to the homless guy, "your going to work for a change" ughh ew

Also I still want to cry every time I see homeless man thanks again Time Bastard

Love that he's in a suit but still wearing a beanie

WOOO LATTE HOTTE IS SO GOOOD

"I'm the latte hotte you asked about" very much feels like it's directed at the audience. Like us having always been trying to figure out who that latte hotte is, asking the Langs who it is. And now Zoey says it's her

Paul! Also wow rewatching it after seeing the post about Paul being out of character yeah that "sure" does feel odd especially since its so casual and not like confused and anxious

"I don't know who the 'Emma' bitch is. Get it right"

"oh yeah! Latte Hotte! Very nice" ahh the Ted is coming through

"I can't stop dumping ass" still get me dkdjdbdbdb

AHHH I LOVE GERALD FUCK YEAH STAND UP FOR YOUR WIFE

ZOEY'S SCREAM AFTER LINDA WALKS AWAYS RJRBFUVFHDHDDNDNDJDNXJDND "aaaaaaaa"

So we know there's a Hatchetfield high ofc and a Hatchetfield elementary, there's probably a Hatchetfield middle school too. We know about Sycamore high ofc so I'm sure there's an sycamore elementary and middle too right. I wonder if there's more elementary schools too.. Where I live all the towns have like 5 elementary schools and then 1 middle and 1 high. So I wouldn't be suprised if there's more elementary schools in hatchetfield.

Obnoxious/Cineplex Teen my beloved!!!

"WE THINK YOU SOUND SEXY!"

Oh I'm also kinda surprised Charlotte wasn't even mentioned in this episode

"Yes. Yes. Fuck em. Fuck em straight to hell. Assholes." "Just crown her! Crown her now!" very easy to please

"please, don't make me cheat again, I already feel dirty" god mood. I've cheated on a test once ever in my life and I felt so terrible and dirty after it.

"woo go Lin! :)" "yay mom! :D"

Yeah I'm not in AP Govt but those of you saying that CT is AP Govt bc of that question are definitely right. Fucking nerd

"helpmethroughthisandI'llfundyourfuckingmusical" "deal. All right!"

Hidgens said he wants the rich to pay their fair share of taxes while being rich and wanting to be even richer for working boyz, iconic.

God. The build to her answer. "the perfect answer. The only answer" and then "I hate homless people" it's so good

Oooh I wanna say something about Hailey so bad but I don't wanna put any spoilers for the other eps in this.

Also this scene hits harder bc recently one of friends who's in choir lost her voice the day of a performance that she had a solo in and god she was absolutely destroyed (luckily she got her voice back in time)

I feel like Hidgens shouldn't be allowed to boo one of the constants.

Ooooh Henry's dramatic turn "I betrayed you? Zoey. 'working Girls'? I don't think so." CHILLS

Sam's fucking sunglasses (if you know the post you know the post. Ash is a genius)

QUEEN BEE AHHHH

PRETTY LADY HNGGG I AM IN LOVE

Corey's directing for Queen Bee!!!!!!! It's so good!!

Reminder that 4 yr is not okay to let your kid to the bathroom by themselves, ass seen with Gerald saying he needed to take River to the bathroom in Black Friday, but 6 is totally okay to let them go by themselves as seen in this.

"hey don't be scared. I'm a cop" nddhdb

"which kid?" ugh jeez still gets me djfjd

"my boyfriend? He's a cop. He can make your son... Disappear, and the rest of the force will just look the other way." god Starkid really said fuck cops so much this episode I love it (and they're fucking right with this line too)

"River? You piss all over yourself again?"

"I'll kick his ass, you kick hers. Love you :)"

A big, beefy guy™

Oh wow I forgot about "and it's not just gonna be you. I'm gonna kill River, then your other brats, then I'm gonna out a bullet in your wife's skull!" like damn that's fucked up (appropriately for hatchetfield ofc)

God Sam is so dumb sjdbrndbdb "man, am I just shitty cop?" yeah you are dude

Okay the "sweetest women in hatchetfield" thing has been talked about plenty that's obviously but we should talk about "the constant who best embodies the spirt of this town" more. The people who best embody Hatchetfield are ruthless. The "hungriest". They will do anything to get what they want. They will kill without hesitation to become honey queen. That's who best embodies Hatchetfield.

Hnnngg Linda's speech over the phone to Gerald :( and he'll never get to hear it :(

The Starkid cult the church of the Starry Children

God Roman is insane and I love him and Jon's great

"Gerald can't help you now. He's dead :)"

"Nibbly will gift us wealth and power" holy shit I forgot that! Roman is only rich thanks to Nibbly!!! Also this seems to mean that the others in the church are rich too we know Shelia is and she's rich. So yeah the theories about other certain rich members being in the church too definitely makes sense (tho I don't think Hidge is bc I don't think he would've helped Linda to get money for working boyz knowing she'd be sacrificed)

I love Nick smiling at the end of eps he looks so proud and happy but also the kind of smirk like "ohh your hurt? Did this episode make you feel things huh? Fuck yeah we fucking got you" and I love it

This song really is batshit

Omg remember when the album for Honey dropped and we were predicting that Curt would play Nibbly bc of him singing in the Nibbly Ditty? Nsdjdndnd

Omg I love Curt and James in this the faces they're doing, Curt standing there and being creepy, James absolutely dancing and being creepy jdkddb I love it